A tongue weighs so little, yet few can hold it...

Fell off the horse...again

2008-02-29T20:05:00.000-08:00

I had a rough couple of days with school and didn't work out at all. I didn't feel like doing anything, but sit! I decided first thing this morning that I had to get "back on the horse" again. I came back from my paper route and got on the treadmill. I am so happy too. I pushed through to jog non-stop for a mile and a half!!! I wanted so badly to push through to 2 miles, but I was already tired from getting up at 3 am. I am getting there though. My goal is to 2 miles without stopping. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!!

2008-02-23T10:40:00.000-08:00

I have had an "on again, off again" kind of week, but I am finally making progress. I am down about 14 pounds!! I am noticing that my jeans are a tad looser, but when I look at myself I am not seeing much of a change. I have been pushing myself to stay on the treadmill longer and to jog more of the time I am on it. I have cheated on my eating several times this week, but instead of punishing myself I just got back to eating right the next meal. Today I got on the treadmill shortly after getting up, before I ate breakfast, just like my new book on weight loss says to do. I pushed though to 450 calories and stayed on for 1 hr. I do notice that if I work out before breakfast that I am not very hungry afterwards. So even though it is baby steps towards getting healthy it is working.

Slacked off for two days...

2008-02-21T18:46:00.001-08:00

So, I slacked off for two days. I didn't work out on Tuesday night, because I was up to my ears in my clinical paperwork. Wednesday night I was more concerned with taking care of little man before his surgery and then I had to take little Miss to my friends house for the night. Thank you Stella!!!
Today I knew I had to attempt to make up for lost progress. I just "got back on the horse" and worked out for an hour and burned 500 calories!!

Haven't been writing...

2008-02-16T15:36:00.000-08:00

At first I felt like I had to write everyday to keep motivated, but I am finding I like to write about it less and less, but am still working out regardless. I worked out yesterday for about 30 mins and today I worked out twice. I try to work out twice a day on the weekends to make up for my clinical days. I often come home too stressed or have too much paperwork to do to have time to stop for 30 mins or more. Today I worked out and burned a total of 700 calories. I really pushed myself with my seond work out and it felt damn good too!! Of course, by the time I was done my legs were like jelly!! I am looking into getting some sort of weight bench. I am find that just doing the treadmill is becoming too routine and I would like to shake it up a bit with weights. I love lifting, I always have. That would be why I am cursed with huge arms!! I also know that the fastest way to get into shape and lose weight is to lift weights and do cardio. So time to step up this getting healthy plan of mine. Now I am on the search for a good weight bench that won't make us broke.

I did it!

2008-02-13T19:50:00.000-08:00

I finally worked up to 1 mile on the treadmill with out stopping. That is I jogged a mile non-stop!!! I am so happy :)

Naughty girl

2008-02-12T17:53:00.000-08:00

I decided that I had to undo the damage I did with a very high calorie snack tonight. I have been a very good girl, but tonight I was a tad stressed and decided to de-stress with food. NOT a good idea. I felt totally guilty as soon as I finished. So instead of feeling defeated I got my butt on the treadmill for 50 mins., went 3 miles, and burned about 400 calories. I tell you what I was beat when I was done and just thought...was that snack worth all the effort for two minutes on my lips??? Ugh that sinful food!!

2008-02-10T10:07:00.000-08:00

So my motivation is back again for the moment. I did do like I said I would, I got back on last night and measured how far I could jog without stopping. I got about .6 of a mile!! I know that doesn't seem like much, but when I started I could go for about a minute and a half and I felt like I would die. I will work at it, until I get up to 2 miles without stopping! I used to be able to do that about three years ago. I can get there again.
This morning I got right up and did a few things around the house, then I got on the treadmill. I want to start trying to get on it like two times a day on weekends. I find I get on way less during the week after I get home from school or clinicals. This way I know I will get a good work out in every weekend. I jogged for a mile, 1/2 at the beginning, non-stop, then I walked at a fast pace for a 1/2 mile, then I jogged again for another 1/2 mile without stopping again. It was a great work out. I went for about 45 mins. burned 350 calories, and went 2.5 miles all together. It felt dang good too. I have a goal in mind for what I am trying to accomlish now. I want to look like I did at my wedding by the time my husband comes home again. He is working out like crazy as well to look hot for me, so I will do my best to look good for him too. Mainly I am doing it for myself. I am tired of wearing shirts that you can see my back fat in and tired of having to always feel self-conscious about my size. I am not a huge woman, but I am not happy with the size I am. I feel so much better when I work out and I always wonder why it is I stop doing it. So I am not dieting, I am making life changes. As gay as that sounds it is the truth. I am not counting calories, I am just totally modifying my food intake on a daily basis.

Back on the horse...

2008-02-09T18:40:00.000-08:00

I haven't been on my treadmill or took the time to work out for over a week. I was sick since last Saturday, butstarted feeling better Friday. So, I got back on the horse so to speak tonight. I took the kids to the park and I jogged/walked there. After dinner I got on my treadmill for 40 mins. and burned about 250 calories. I was attempting to see how far I could jog without stopping, but my youngest son decided to run by the treadmill and pull the plug out of the wall. I got frustrated, because I had to stop and then I didn't start up again. I am determined though so I think I will jump back on right now and see how far I can go!! Here goes....

It's getting boring...

2008-01-30T19:52:00.000-08:00

I am hitting that mark where working out is getting boring!! I love my treadmill and walking/jogging is my thing, but I am get bored of the music I have and being inside. I can't wait until t he weather gets nice and I can do some of my work out outside!!! I went for an hour tonight, jog/walked 3 miles, and burned like 480 calories!! I dragged it out longer tonight and did a less intense work out, but I still got my miles in. NOT bad for being bored out of my mind. I even did this blog in a boring color tonight.

Rough couple of days

2008-01-29T20:03:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I didn't work out at all. I came home after a very emotionally stressful day. I had a clinical rotation in the ER and without giving out too much information...we had a trauma patient that we lost. I don't know if it was the stress of the day or just a long day in general, but by the time I got home my head was hurting so badly I thought I was going to puke. Actually I wanted to puke, as I thought that it was the only thing that would relieve the tremendous pain in my head. I had no energy or motivation to step on that treadmill.
Today, I was in the ER again due to a scheduling error in my favor. It was a much better day, but they had snacks!!! I ate some M&M's and boy were they yummy. Then I got home and there was a package for me from one of my amazing Mother-in-Laws and she sent me sweet-n-crunchy peanuts and some chocolates....so you can guess what I did. I came down after dinner and did the usual routine of checking emails, myspace, and school stuff. I was in off mode again. Mentally I was telling myself take another day off, but then my body kicked in and told me to get my lazy butt up and moving. I quickly ran upstairs and changed before I could talk myself out of it. I got on the treadmill and did 3 miles and burned about 450 calories. I was trying to make up for yesterday and the movement helped relieve some stress too. Now I am just exhausted and am going to go tuck my kids in and crash. I hope you girls are having a wonderful week.

I made good choices...kind of

2008-01-26T08:52:00.000-08:00

Today I got out of the house without my kiddos. I went to lunch with a friend. I figured as soon as I got out I would make poor food choices as I always do. I didn't!! I had a combo plate that had some soup, chicken, and a small salad. I didn't even try to get dessert. For dinner I ordered Pizza, per the kids request and I got in later in the evening after errands so I didn't feel like cooking. I can normally eat two pieces, maybe three if I am the mood for pizza, but tonight I used my head. I cut a piece in half and ate that and had two wings and that was all!! I was proud of myself. Now I need to buy a scale so that I can monitor my progress...if I have any! As for my work out today. I did get my butt on the treadmill, but not for as long as I wanted. The kids were not in the mood to help me out with the baby so after listening to about 25 mins of complaining and having the work out mood ruined, I got off. So today was a good day for me, I got out of the house and had a lovely time at lunch and I watched a movie with all my kids!! I love good days. The only better thing would have been ending it with my hubby by my side.

2008-01-24T19:25:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I totally slacked on working out so that I could study for my exam today. Not that it mattered, as I only got an 82%!! I hate being a "B" student when I know I can be an "A" student. I shouldn't complain, as I don't even have the text for the course, I just go off of lecture notes.
This blog is about exercise, not my grades so I'll get to it!!! I decided that I needed to do more today to make up for slacking yesterday. I walked 2.7 miles, for 45 mins, and burned 410 calories. Yeah me. Also, I totally resisted the urge to get chocolate today when I was at school. I am a stress eater and I was stressing the test, but I was a good girl and ate my healthy snacks that I packed. I won't say that I am not craving a nice big bowl of cereal right now after my work out, because I soooooo am!!

Quick post...

2008-01-23T19:40:00.001-08:00

Long day
Found out today at my physical that I Lost 5 pounds since last week!!! VERY excited
Big test tomorrow so no exercise today...I slacked and studying most of the night
Will have to do more tomorrow!!!
Back to studying :)

Physical tomorrow!!

2008-01-22T19:09:00.000-08:00

Yes, three days in a row I got my fat bum on my treadmill!! I am feeling the motivation. I am hoping that when I go tomorrow for my physical I have lost one pound. I know that seems so little in the big picture, but it will make me feel like I am doing something right. I am not a good girl when it comes to dieting...what I mean is I don't sit and count calories, I go by what I know is healthy food and what is a healthy portion of food to eat. I should count calories. I know that would be the best way to track things, but it is just not me. Instead I make changes in my diet like eating more vegetables, fruits, and cutting out sweets all together. I, of course, cheat and have chocolate once in awhile, heck I am no angel!! I do notice that when I cut down on sweets, I crave them less!!! If you know me, you know I am a "sweet-aholic!" So here's to working out three days in a row and hopefully stepping on that mean old scale tomorrow and seeing that I dropped a pound. Cross your fingers for me girls!!

Two days in a row!!!

2008-01-21T19:34:00.000-08:00

I did it, I didn't go a day in between working out!! As you can see, if you are reading these boring blogs of mine (which your not!!) I have a usual pattern of "on one day, off the next." So today was my off day, but I was on, on my treadmill for 45 mins, walked/jogged 2 miles and burned over 300 calories!!! Yes, I am tooting my own horn, so to speak. I go to the doctors this week for a physical, maybe I have lost a pound...we will see!!

PS. I ate an apple, a half of an orange, celery, and low fat, low salt popcorn today for snacks!! Translation I didn't have any chocolate all day!! I have also been down grading my dinners to smaller portions...this might actually work if I can keep it up.

Not a wasted Sunday!!

2008-01-20T17:15:00.000-08:00

I figured today was going to be another day that I sat around like a lump. I spent most of the day cleaning the house and then I took a nap...go figure me nap. For those of you who know me, you know I luvs my naps. I do however realize that I need to try to nap less and move more. That is a discussion for another day though. So, today my daughter requested we go for a walk to the park. Initially I was going to say no, but I took a walk to the mailbox and realized that the weather was warm enough to bring the baby out. I went in the garage and began taking down my double jogger stroller. The poor thing hasn't had any road action since the Summer. The kids were all really excited to go, so that is always motivation for me. The walk to their school is like a mile or less. So I jogged and alternated walking all the way. I know fully well that I am not in shape to jog the whole way, but I do push myself to jog for as long as I feel I can. Then when we got the school the kids played on the equipment and I jogged around the school once. I know that is no major task, but I didn't feel like stopping yet!! That is how I can tell when my body wants to move...when it is time to stop, but I don't want to. I did the same on the way back home. When we got inside I realized we had only been gone for like an hour. Not good enough!! So I went right downstairs and got on the treadmill for another thirty minutes!! I logged in about 2.5 miles today and it felt great. Point for me today!!

Spent the day with the kids...then napped!!

2008-01-20T08:36:00.000-08:00

01/19/08
Yes, today was a "I was a bum" day. I was supposed to have a girls day out with Stella and friends, but Rya is sick and I couldn't bring her to childcare. I wouldn't have any fun worrying about her all day. So instead, I spent the day with the kids. I took them out to lunch at a place that had a play yard. Then we came home took naps and just sat around until dinner time. After that we went to get some much needed groceries, but I was a good girl and didn't buy the usual junk food. I got lots of vegtables and fruits too!! Like I keep saying, one step at a time. I didn't, however, get on the treadmill. It is Saturday...a day of rest right??

I was a good girl today

2008-01-18T18:36:00.000-08:00

OHHH, first off my earlier post was for yesterday, but I forgot to post. This is truly today's post!! Not that it really matters, no one seems to be reading about my boring life anyway.

So this morning I did the paper route, so that means I am walking on and off for two hours, so that counts right?? Even though I did totally try to rationalize it in my head today I still worked out on the treadmill for 40 mins. I did a harder program that is on my treadmill and I was breathing pretty heavy and thought at one point I could just faint!! I didn't though :)
I did two miles and burned about 300 calories!! I am sure by nights end I will eat 300 calories though, dang it and my love for sweets!!

No progress today...

2008-01-18T16:03:00.000-08:00

I had class today and study group in the morning. I got up, got the kiddos ready, and off I went. I did park farther away today, but not enough to count for much of a work-out though. I also didn't have my usual chocolate cookies during our breaks, instead I had a bag of peanuts that had fruit in it. It was yummy and at least 150 less calories than those yummy cookies. So I guess in that regard I saved 300 calories today!! Baby steps, baby steps, that is the way....
I didn't do any treadmill today, as I was just a poop when I came home. I went to bed early, because I had to be up at three to do the paper route.

I hate scales

2008-01-16T19:53:00.000-08:00

I got weighed today and let's just say I am at least 20 pounds over weight. That may not seem like much to some, but to me it might as well be 100 lbs!! So I came home today and walked/jogged for an hour on my treadmill. I logged 3 miles and burned like 400 calories. Not that I didn't end up eating that 400 calories again with dinner, but heck it is something...right?? I even walked up the stairs today instead of taking the elevator up three flights to the dentist office. I know it will take a lot more than an hour on the treadmill to lose the weight now that I am in my 30's, but I have to start somewhere. I wouldn't mind some feedback girls?? Are you out there??

Clinicals count don't they?

2008-01-15T17:13:00.000-08:00

Today I had clinicals, so I walked up and down the halls chasing after things the nurse needed...does that count as exercise? I sure hope so, because I am pooped and I am not getting on that treadmill. Not to mention my right ankle is killing me...an old injury that flared up this week. I hobbled around on it today and it is killing me. I am going to get it checked out tomorrow. Those are my excuses for today...

"Smack my b*tch up!!

2008-01-14T18:34:00.000-08:00

Okay, so first let me say how I did yesterday. I sucked! I ended up bringing my little man to the ER, it took three hours and by the time I got home and got the kids fed and off to bed I had to get things ready for school. So I didn't do anything to work out...I sucked out!
BUT......
I did however work out tonight. First let me tell you my motivation. I had class today and got to discussing my new blog with a friend from class. So as we were driving back from lunch I joked about how I should park far away from the school for exercise. She was like, yes you should, do it....but, of course, I had an excuse," I would but I have to jet out of here after school to get my kids." Now as soon as the words came out I realized I was full of crap. We were due out by 5 and my kids don't need to be picked up until 6 pm. I could have parked out there, but my lazy butt didn't want to!! Note to self...learn to park like a half-mile away. So to make a long story longer, I decided when I got home tonight right after dinner that instead of chatting on messenger with my big Sister that I would go right up to my room, throw on some shorts, a t-shirt, and get my flabby butt on the treadmill. That is exactly what I did. I jumped on, threw in a program that came with the treadmill, and worked out for 50 mins. I even increased the speed and incline more than the program asked for!! Go me!! I jogged off and on at 5mph...I know that isn't much, but for not working out for months and months it isn't bad. So tonight, for a change I was a good girl and I did what I wanted to. We will see what tomorrow brings.

P.S. School sucked today and I am thankful that Val was there to listen to me be cynical as usual!! I think I should go on for my Masters as soon as I can and become a teacher. Not because I want to teach, but because they obviously are lacking good knowledgeable nursing instructors!!!!!

2008-01-13T09:08:00.000-08:00

So it is 2008 and it's time to make some changes...bet you never heard that before!! Seriously I have decided that I need to make an effort to get healthier. I usually do this a few times a year, mentally, but never follow through with it. SO, I thought maybe I could blog about my progress and all my dear friends who love to be "frank" will help me along.
This is my plan. I am going to try to blog everyday about what, if any, progress I have had. For example:

Today I wanted to get up and get on my treadmill for a half hour before my kids got up...instead I slept late (mentally rationalizing it was all Aiden's fault, because he woke me up three times during the night) and got up took a shower before the kids woke up and then the day has began. For those of you that have kids you know that once they are up any plans you have are pretty much out the window!! So now my goal is to still get on the treadmill or go do some yard work to work up a sweat. Check back to see if I followed through...but don't hold your breath, it is Sunday you know ;)

Now what I would appreciate it some feedback from you guys. "Kick my ass" so to speak. Don't let me be a slacker. Point out all my stupid excuses and just let me have it, I can take it I am strong. I just need a good kick in the pants to get motivated.

My dear sweet husband, before he left, bought me this amazing treadmill. I girl couldn't ask for a better one, unless it worked out for you!! So not only do I want to get in shape, but I would like to thank my husband for getting me my treadmill by actually using it. I don't have a goal weight in mind, just a goal to get my lazy bum moving each day. Summer will be here before I know it and I would like to get back into jogging again. I am not a health nut as you all know, but I do remember when I was able to jog I felt dang good!!! I think I have rambled on enough about this silliness, so I challenge all of my friends to read my blogs and help me along!! If anyone wants to join in, I will certainly enjoy "kicking" your butt into gear too!! Thanks girls and here's to getting healthier in 2008.
~Kelly

To her own reflection she said, " I will be strong!"

2007-09-12T14:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a rough day for me. It was one of those I can't take one more thing on my shoulders or I will explode!! Clinicals, homework, tests, reading, kids, traffic, classmate dynamics, and dinner...I had just had my fill for one day. I came home and I had a splitting headache and was in a terrible mood. I soon realized that since my husband is gone this week that there was no one there to give me a break to take some time for myself to regroup. The baby was cranky, the older two were doing the usual avoidance of chores and homework. I didn't get home until after five from clinicals and dinner had to be made in the midst of helping with homework, calming the baby, and then the phone rings too. My poor sister got the brunt of it. I just ranted to her for about a half hour. I just needed to get some of it off my chest. Not that it really helped in the end. The day was just a terrible one.....

So the reason for this blog is because today I came to the realization that I am a very strong woman. I know this, I have known this. Yesterday just made me think. If someone like me can get that overwhelmed with things, what does someone that is not strong do?
It made me think of all the military wives, the single Moms, and the list goes on and on. How do they cope when life gets to be too much for them? I know we all have a degree of strength in us, but for some of us it is harder to find the strength to go on. I just sat here today after finishing another pharm. quiz and felt so thankful that I am strong. Yes, as yesterday showed me, I am able to get back up after being knocked down, but I just wonder how many hits can you take before you too are not strong enough to get back up??
This year is going to be a rough one and I just pray that I have the strength to fight through it!!
Thanks for listening...well reading my venting for the day :)

.....

2007-08-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

A man's dying is more the survivors' affair than his own.
~Thomas Mann

For those of you who don't know me you will have no clue why the random quote. People amaze me sometimes and not in a good way. How is it that we have become such bitter souls that we treat someone so cruelly in their time of need?

Blog Tagged

2007-06-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

Stella Blog Tagged me!

One Word Answers:
Yourself: frumpy
Your Partner: Intelligent
Your Hair: dishwater
Your Mother: Misunderstood
Your Father: Missed
Your Favorite Item: Camera
Your Dream Last Night: forgotten
Your Favorite Drink: dietCoke
Your Dream Car: none
Your Dream Home: Hawaii
The Room You Are In: playroom
Your Fear: divorce
You Want To Be In 10 Years: content
Who You Hung Out With Last Night: Kids
Your Not: Skinny
One Of Your Wishlist Items: hardfloorcleaner :)
The Last Thing You Did: dirtydiaper
You Are Wearing: PJ's
Your Favorite Weather: Spring
Your Favorite Book: Bible
Last Thing You Ate: Cereal
Your life: stressful
Your Mood: lazy
Your Best Friend: Ryan
What Are You Thinking About Right Now: Flees
Your Car: Blue
What Are You Doing At The Moment: typing
Relationship Status: frustrated
What Is On Your TV: Voodoovince
What Is The Weather Like: Calm
When Is The Last Time You Laughed: Yesterday

Okay now I get to tag two people: Kelly Jean, and Kim

Everyone is a comedian

2007-06-07T16:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I took little miss to the doctors office today. I brought Aiden along. The PA student comes in and starts asking questions. Aiden then decides it is show time...he loves to get a laugh!! First he says, " Mommy, Daddy lets his boobies hang out when he goes to bed, he doesn't wear a shirt." We all laugh....bad IDEA!! Then he proceeds to say, " ANd you let your boobies hang out too!" Nice, real nice AIDEN!! I must have turned a nice shade of red. First off, I would rather not talk about my boobies. Second, it is totally NOT true and he was just trying to get the "doc" to laugh at his silliness. He succeeded!! Just wanted to share my lovely embarrassment today thanks to my three year old.

2007-05-26T20:30:00.000-07:00

That special box of tissues, moving the car that night and forgetting we did it, waiting for you to finally get ready (when we were supposed to be there an hour ago), having Devin pinch my butt for the millionth time, water bras, making those Halloween costumes that one year, and the list could go on and on of things that I think of when I am thinking of you. I miss you girl.

I am having one of those nights where I am tired of being all alone. YES, I know I have four kids, but only two of them are home and being lonely is possible even when you have kids. If you have kids you know what I mean.

My best friend lives back in NY and I miss her like crazy. We always had such good times together and no matter how long we have been apart when we see each other again it is just like we just saw each other yesterday. It took me many years to find a true friend. I had my fair share of "fair weather friends," and it took me meeting Miss Kelly O to realize how crappy they really were. She was the one I could call when someone broke my heart, when I was bored, when I was just silly, and when I just needed to vent. I could call her anytime!

Prime example, the year her Mother passed away from Breast Cancer I was going through a rough time . She had just lost her mother like a month prior and was still in a bit of denial I think. I had only seen her cry like once over it and she loved her mother so very much. She called me one night and as soon as she heard my voice she realized something was wrong...even though I tried my best to deny it. She asked me if I needed her to come over? I, of course, said, "No, I am fine...really." I am not one for letting people see me upset. Next thing I know there are headlights coming up my driveway. Sure enough here comes Kelly (yes her name is Kelly too) and she comes to the door with a box of Kleenex in hand ready to make it all go away or let me cry it out!! I told her she was amazing that she is dealing with SO much more than I am and that I should be the one over with her bringing the Kleenex. She just sits with me and listens to my drama and makes me laugh. I have NEVER had a friend drop everything and come over to make sure I am okay (I am tearing up thinking about it...dang you Kelly!!).
So tonight I am missing her and also wishing that I could make a friend to share some good times with. I don't want to replace her, that I NEVER could and I don't mean ANY disrespect to the girls that have been amazing friends to me since I have moved to CO and I am thankful everyday for you guys. I just mean it is nice to have that one friend that is "YOUR" best friend.

You know the one that you trust with your secrets...the ones you REALLY don't want shared, the one that runs to the store with you, comes over to just hang out at your house with you on a boring Saturday night, the one that you call when you have good news, the one you call to vent to when you and your hubby fight, and you know she will ALWAYS be on your side (even if your wrong), the one that your kids treat like their second mother....I know you know the kind.

Okay, so this one is getting extremely long...sorry.
I miss you Kelly and hopefully some time soon I can get back to NY to see you. I want to hold that new baby boy and see how big Devin has gotten, but most of all I just want to see you and share some much needed laughs with you.

Garage sale sign thieves

2007-05-26T16:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I had a garage sale today to get rid of my crap (I mean wonderful belongings worth lots of $) and I barely had anyone come. So I figured it was cause' I live in the sticks, but NO it was because this place called Oakwood pulled my signs down and put their signs up in their place!! Can you believe that? Is this normal practice? I couldn't believe they did that. So I sat here all day with like maybe 10 people showing up and most of them were just from my neighborhood. So to you jerks at Oakwood....YOU SUCK!

Shout out to Miss Stella, thanks for coming to keep me company for a bit today! I was going nutzo sitting here all dang day.

Textbooks robbery

2007-05-25T11:26:00.000-07:00

So I am in a bitchy mood today. Mainly over buying EIGHT nursing textbooks. Now these eight books are not for a bunch of my classes, they are for ONE class. When I went to buy them today I about strangled the lady at the register (even though it is NOT NOT NOT her fault) when she told me my total was $390.86. I mean WTF, why the hell do I need 8 books to teach me one class. Did I mention this class is one I already took at BSU before I moved to CO? Yes, the joys of transferring from one college to another. I am so tired of the colleges getting rich off of me. I will never become an RN at this rate. I have spent the past two years "jumping through hoops" for them. I am just now being able to start the actual nursing classes.

I did, however, go online to half.com and look up all these books and found them for about $100 less. Yes, I am totally going to return these books to the bookstore and get my money back. I am already paying this crappy college plenty for the classes I am NOT going to let them rob me of my money for their over priced textbooks.

Moral of this bitchy story....hug a nurse!! BECAUSE you would not image what we have to go through to get our education. If you ever wonder why there is a shortage of nurses it is because of the way the colleges treat us!! So today I am hating college and wishing that I had my RN already. Another moral to my story...use half.com if you ever need cheaper textbooks!!
Okay, my bitch-fest is done!!

What is it about standing up?

2007-05-18T07:33:00.000-07:00

11:30 pm., 12:15 pm., 1:30 am., 2:40 am.,.....and on and on until the break of dawn!! Yes those are roughly the times my groggy grumpy butt was getting up last evening to tend to my youngest daughter. Most of us in this house have been sick for about a week now and last night I think little one started it too :(

She just kept waking up and wouldn't go back to sleep. I tried the "be strong and let her cry it out" routine, I tried the "go in an quickly grab her bottle, refill it, and sneak it back into her" routine, I tried the "pick her up and love her" routine, and I even tried the " hold her and rub her while I tried to get some rest too" routine. The only thing that worked....that ever seems to work was to pace the floor with her.

Why is it when a baby is being fussy and you stand up with them, they are fine. When you sit down it is like an alarm going off. How do they know the second your flabby butt hits the chair? Honestly, it is like they have built in sensors!! I would pace with her a bit, then try to sit down so I could rest and she would wake right back up and the water works would start all over again. All my work in vain just to have a moment where my tush could touch the sofa. Man was I tired and I think times like those, when your getting up and down to make your child happy should count as like 1000 squats, cause' in the middle of the night NO ONE should have to go up and down that many times. So tell me how is they know. Is it an unspoken baby moto? " Never let them sit!! NEVER"

Anyone seen my marbles?

2007-05-17T20:53:00.001-07:00

So today I started the day off by giving my phone number to someone. It sounds simple right, just typing seven numbers, but nooooo, not for me. I screwed it up. I think my mind is failing me. I used to feel so together so sure of myself and now lately I feel "scatter brained." I often say the wrong word, misspell things, and many times I just can't even think of simple words to finish a sentence.

Why does this happen. Is it the four kids that are making me crazy, the husband constantly making me worry for his safety, the fact that I am going to be 33 this year, or is it that I am really just a dumb ass?? Does this crap happen to other normal people under say sixty? I know eventually your mind goes, but come on now I am only in my thirties. I surely know it doesn't take long for Father Gravity to come rip, ravish, and pulverize what is left of my body, but can't they at least leave me my mind?

Paper paper everywhere!!

2007-05-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

Okay, first off what the hell happened to saving the trees? I was cleaning up the kitchen today and as usual I am fighting through mounds and mounds of paper. I must get two to three credit card letters a day asking me if I want their stupid credit card. I love the ones that say 29.99% interest....what fool would check yes to that one?

So first off, credit card companies stop sending me letters. I DON'T WANT YOUR CREDIT CARDS. I don't want any. I don't want debt.

Second, why the heck doesn't anyone think about the amount of paper they are wasting. I literally just shred them. I don't even read them. What a waste of a tree! Grrr...that makes me so angry. I think if I was rich enough I would forward them all back to them. I would collect them all for the year and send them back in bulk to show them just how much paper they are wasting on me. So Visa, MasterCard, Discover, etc. take me off your list of possible idiots that might want to start mass debt for herself and her family. If I can't buy it with the money I have, I DON'T WANT OR NEED IT!!

PS. Plant a tree for me instead and I might think about considering paying 29.99% to keep it alive!